Talking to the Moon
by TsundereMeister
Summary: Matthew Williams was your best friend. Brutally murdered best friend, that is. (Murdered!Spirit!Canada x Suicidal!Bullied!Reader)


_I know you're somewhere out there_

Somewhere far away  
I want you back  
I want you back  
My neighbors think I'm crazy  
But they don't understand  
You're all I had  
You're all I had

You sat down on the roof of your home, your eyes looking up at the ominously glowing moon. "Hey," you greeted, the smell of alcohol escaping in a breath. As usual, no one replied. You were talking to no one. But you knew you were talking to someone. You were talking to Matthew Williams, your best friend.

Your _**brutally murdered**_ best friend, that is.

He was killed along with his entire family- the only survivor being his twin brother, Alfred Jones. He became your new best friend to help you feel better after he was shot- but it felt...different.

Alfred wasn't like Matthew at all- he was loud, and popular. Soon, popularity overcame him- and he started bullying you. Then the rest of the school started bullying you. It was life-destroying.

But you remembered something one day- that Matthew loved to see the stars at night, especially the moon. He treated the moon as if it were a fragment of childhood- as if it were his only friend, aside from you, yourself.

From then on, you always climbed up your terraced roof and "talked" to him- but you weren't sure if he heard you. What if he's simply ignoring you? Or...

_**What if he didn't even hear your cries at all?**_

_At night when the stars light up my room  
I sit by myself talking to the moon.  
Trying to get to you  
In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too.  
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

~The Next Morning~

You sighed, walking across the halls of Gakuen Hetalia. There, at the end of the hall, sat Alfred F. Jones, your ex-best friend and tormentor.

"Hey, bitch," He called, smirking. You ignored him, a dull expression on your face. He slammed you onto the lockers, his eye twitching as your bag fell to the floor. "Well, speak up, slut!" He said. You maintained the same dull expression, gently prying his hand off and picking up your bag. "You know, if you kept doing this, Matt would probably never forgive you," You remarked bluntly, walking away.

Alfred stared at you, his baby-blue eyes showing remorse. He knew he wasn't doing anything right. Sure- he was the school's most popular boy, he had a pretty girlfriend- but he couldn't bear to see his brother's pale, lifeless face during his funeral.

_**I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean the bruises and cuts I gave her. I didn't want to survive.**_

Meanwhile, his girlfriend- Natalia Arlovskaya- came walking in, twirling her sliky pale blonde hair. She tripped you, making you fall face-first into the floor. But you maintained the same expression- blank.

"Watch where you're going fucker," she snickered. You stood up, holding your bleeding nose and walking away. As you walked away from her too, her vain aura softened into one of regret.

_**I'm so sorry (F/N). I didn't mean that. I didn't mean everything to you. I'm sorry.**_

Later at lunch, the jocks pushed you against the wall, snorting. "Hey whore, got my money?" The leader said. You calmly opened your bag and pulled out five dollars, handing it to him and walking away.

After a few hours in school, you walked down the marble stairs, glancing at the setting sun. It's time...Walking back to your home, not bothering to greet your parents, you dropped your bag on your garden grass and climbed up a pipe, waiting for the sun to die out.

You've been doing this since the day he died- to the point your neighbors even called you insane. But you didn't give all the fucks you had for all of their rumours. They didn't understand.

_I'm feeling like I'm famous  
The talk of the town  
They say I've gone mad  
Yeah, I've gone mad  
But they don't know what I know  
Cause when the sun goes down  
Someone's talking back  
Yeah, they're talking back  
Ohhh_

You watched the final moments of the sun, before the moon started to rise. You smiled, waiting a few more moments. The moon was high in the sky- glowing brighter than any other star. "Hey Matt," you greeted, smiling wider. "I got bullied again by your brother, and Natalia. I'm fine though," you said, pulling out your notebook and looking at your sketches.

The longer you sat there talking, the more you started to loosen up- until tears flowed from your eyes, dripping onto the terraced roof. You stood up in both anger in frustration, raking your fingers through your hair, sobbing uncontrollably. "Why?! Why did you have to die, Matt?! Everyday, you say nothing! NOTHING! What will I have to do to hear your voice again?!" You cried out, more tears spilling from your eyes.

_At night when the stars light up my room  
I sit by myself talking to the moon.  
Trying to get to you  
In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too.  
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

Your cries and screams slowly died down to muffled sobs, quieted by your head buried in your knees. "What will it take...to get to hear your voice...one last time...? I wonder...if you ever even hear me at all, Matt..." you sobbed.

Soon, you thought of an idea. But you knew it would cost you something precious, but to you, it was meaningless, priceless.

And it was your life.

_Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...  
Do you ever hear me calling?  
(Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...)  
Oh ohh oh oh ohhh  
'Cause every night I'm talking to the moon_

You slid down the pipe, opening your window and stepping into your room. It was dusty, messy and broken- just like your heart.

Searching through drawer after drawer, you went into your closet and pulled out one of your old jumping ropes- you used to play with when you and Matthew were kids. Tying the jumping rope into a makeshift noose, you locked your room door, placing a chair in the middle of the room.

_Still trying to get to you  
In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too  
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

Tying the noose onto the ceiling, you stepped on the chair, breathing raggedly and placing the noose on your neck like some sort of necklace. Closing your eyes, a tear fell down your eye as you kicked the chair, the noose tightening around your neck.

The pain was unbearable- you couldn't breathe. Your face turned a light blue as you kept gasping for air, twitching rapidly. But before you took your final breath, you felt the noose untie and you immediately fell to the floor, coughing and gasping for precious oxygen.

You felt a cold hand tap your shoulder. You shrieked, turning around in fear. Was it Alfred? Natalia? The asylum employees trying to take you away?

But it wasn't any of them. _**At all.**_

There, stood Matthew Williams, floating in front of you, tear streaks on his cheeks. His favorite Canadian sweater was doused with possibly his blood. He glowed an ethereal light blue, his tears and blood mixing with each other and creating little red droplets on your creaky wooden floor.

You froze in place, billions of emotions coursing through you. _**Is he mad that I tried to kill myself? Is he going to kill me?**_

"(F/N), please don't do this," he said in a quiet whisper, floating down, his transparent Converse stepping down on the floor. "Why should I?!" You yelled back, tears of anger leaking from your dull (E/C) eyes. "I'm all alone! Your brother bullies me everyday with his girlfriend, my neighbors even called the asylum once, so what?! Am I supposed to fucking live?! IT DO-"

"(F/N)!" He spoke sternly, lifting your chin to face his glowing purple eyes. "I want you to live. I know you're being bullied by Alfred, by Natalia, by everyone. I hear you, (F/N). I know everything." He said, a shaky smile on his lips. You stared into his eyes, more tears leaking from yours.

"I hear you because I love you, (F/N). I didn't want to tell you since I thought you would turn me down, but...I saw how much you cried when I died. Please live (F/N). I don't want to see you hurt." He then stood up, floating once more as his body started to disappear. "Goodbye (F/N). Just know, somewhere far away, I'm there, talking back to you..." He said quietly, a smile on his face as his whole form disappeared.

You stood up and turned around to face the brightly-glowing moon in the sky, a smile on your lips. You wiped your tears, starting to clean your room, that same smile on your lips. Even though you didn't hear him, you knew he heard you. He heard everything because he loved you.

_**And you heard him too, because you loved him back.**_

_Ohoooo..._

I know you're somewhere out there  
Somewhere far away


End file.
